New Year's Kaput

I know this is late but I just want to share what kind of new year we had in here last New Year’s eve. In relation to my last blog, about being grumpy, I remember the old man living upstairs of our apartment, I’ll tell you the story about it. I don't know if most people here are not really into Christmas or New Year celebrations because as I observed, they are not really giving much attention to it. Thanksgiving is what they valued most. It's very unlikely in the Philippines, our home town. During these times of the year, families and friends are getting together, workers and students are having their Christmas breaks to celebrate with their loved ones. Food is always present both in Christmas and New Year’s eves. This is not just for the family to enjoy but also to symbolize abundance for the coming New Year. Firecrackers, some great fireworks, and loud music from radio will be heard when 12:00am of the 31st of December approaches. When I was a kid, I used my coin bank and torotot (toy trumpet or horn) in creating noise. It's really loud during New Year ’s Eve in the Philippines, everywhere you go, your ears will not find rest. You can't even hear your own voice because of all the loudness around you. They say that the loud noise will make bad spirits go away and leave along with the old year. We really missed the joy and gladness the season brings in the Philippines. Who said that we can’t bring it here? You will see in our video how happy we were, I put on a little loud music in my computer to give the New Year a spirited welcome. My speaker has its own woofer that’s why you can really feel how lively the music was. That was the very first time I did a loud music (just a little loud actually), I believe it won’t hurt since it’s New Year anyways. But I’m so wrong! Not more than 30 minutes, Mr. Grumpy Old Man from upstairs knocked on our door and said, “Would you mind turning down your radio, it’s really annoying up there!” Eventually, I already turned it off even before he asked for it because we’re about to say our prayer, I said “Oh, I’m so sorry, we already had it off”, he replied, don’t be sorry just turn it down” with a commanding voice like a father to a kid. I’m tempting to say, “By the way, Happy New Year!!” but he already went upstairs. Geez! I thought, it’s just one night and that was my very first time to have the music on! And there’s actually a reason for that music, so inconsiderate!!! It ruined the joy of the night. It made us feel that we did something wrong. My wife said that we should not let that incident affect our happiness. We ended up watching TV while enjoying our food. I wish and pray that Mr. Grumpy will find happiness in his heart so that he will not be so difficult to deal on, having him as a neighbor. Happy New Year to all!!!

new year 2009 - ezekiel

By the way, I found great music playlists from imeem.com. How about you? What kind of music do you prefer?

Righteous church goers

It’s Sunday. We always wanted to go to church every Sundays but sometimes we are making up tons of reasons that made us fail to do it. But today is different, despite of my wife’s tiredness from her night duty, she still insisted to go to church. It’s not just the responsibility as Catholics that prompted us to go but also our willingness to be with the Lord. Some will say that wherever you are, Lord is there, yes, that’s true, but giving up some of your time to dress up, walk a little and visit the church make a real difference. It’s somehow a way of sacrificing some of your precious time and moment to be with the Lord for His honor.

It’s not new to me to see kids inside the church. Some are really adorable and quiet but most are too terrible in their behavior. I remember during my bachelor days, I easily annoyed with the kids crying, playing, running and even eating inside the church. In myself, I said, parents of these kids should be ashamed since they are allowing these kids to do things that are unacceptable inside the church, don’t they know that church should be kept in its solemnity. I even look at them, in my eyes it’s like I’m saying… keep your kid quiet or go out with your kid or just pleeease do something.. sometimes, I stared at the kid’s cookie giving the impression “do they supposed to eat here? Where are their manners? They’re teaching their kids the wrong way.” Hahaha.. That was really an immature, insensitive part of me. Well, that was way way back before.. Things become different, Now, I’m one of those parents. We’re so cautious of those insensitive eyes. I can still see myself in those people who don’t understand what parents are going through inside the church with their kids. I may say that these people might still be single and living all alone by themselves, no experience with kids yet, or they are really strict-to-rules types or just grumpy. Well, if you belong with these kinds of people as I used to be.. Here are the reasons I can give as a parent from my own experience, why of all the approaches available we still can’t prevent some unacceptable kids’ behavior. First, because they are kids – that’s how they supposed to behave, you know.. little attention span, more play less pray.. kid stuffs like that. Second, bringing toys or food for them is for the benefit of the majority.. we wanted them to stay quiet and in their proper places for them not to disturb others through running, crying aloud and making noise. And Last, if we can just entrust our kids to someone while we are in church, we’ll do it, but in our situation, it’s just the three of us living in the house, no relatives in the area and friends were also busy working out their own lives. We also wanted our child to recognize our spiritual way of living. That’s WHY! Hehe.. don’t be so cranky, instead of giving us a look, why don’t you try helping us, or just smiled on us, telling us that you do understand what we’re going through. Anyway, the Lord definitely understands the children as His words say..

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.
—Mark 10:13-16

Survey from Dneero

Merry Christmas to All!!!

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When was the last time you had a date?

Has anyone heard of Desi? You might ask what does this mean. It can also be said as Deshi. They are actually the beautiful people of South Asian heritage, from either Pakistan, India, or Bangladesh. I got to know this from the internet, eager to know how they can be referred since we have nice friends from those countries mentioned. Yesterday, we had a social gathering sponsored by our Apartment’s leasing office; they called it “Residents Holiday Brunch”. Even if I’m not a party-goer, I thought that it’s a good opportunity to meet other people. You don’t live just by yourself, you know. Also, I believe that it’s also a part of our social duty to go out and mingle with others. I remember my college friends used to go out just to meet hot girls in night parties. In the apartment’s function room, with my wife and kid, I was able to meet the husband of our good friend and neighbor, Liza (not her true name). We’ve known Liza not for so long but we sure are good friends already. We both have a toddler that’s why we can relate to each other’s life situation. I always love to meet her husband but we don’t really get a chance till yesterday. Liza is from Denmark while her husband, Ainesh (not his real name) is from India. I already know that information since Liza talked about it the first time we met. The first thing I asked her was, how’d you two meet? They actually met in Denmark; I’ve learned that her husband is so bright that he’s engaged in multiple jobs. As I can recall, Ainesh was in a convention in Denmark during that time. Ainesh is a researcher, doctor and a pilot. Whoa! That’s really impressive you know! No wonder, Liza fell in love to him, not to mention, people from India really has good looks as well, especially those Indian girls. Despite of having English as second language in India, I observed that he still communicates well and with a lot of sense. We found ourselves, listening to every word he says since you will either be inspired or learned from him. He’s also down to earth I may say when he danced with his daughter as if there’s no one’s watching.

Liza and Ainesh are the living proof that no matter where your origins are, two totally different people can still meet and be together, in love and in happiness. You can tell it by just looking at their adorable daughter. This made me think of why are there still a lot of single people around. I can say 75% of our friends are still single. Some of them are just waiting, not doing anything since their principle is “Someone you deserve will come even if you don’t look for him/her”. Some also says, “I still haven’t met the perfect one”. And even one said “I will not look for him, he should look for me”. Tsk.. tsk.., no wonder why they still celebrate cold Christmas alone. Their predictable defense as always is, you don’t need a partner to be happy. That’s how they can say it for now, well, how could I believe them, they haven’t experienced one yet, and if they did, there might be a problem on their selves why it didn’t last. In my opinion, they should do some of the work and not just to depend always in what they called, destiny. In Manila, we have this ancient Filipino saying, “NASA DIYOS ANG AWA, NASA TAO ANG GAWA”, it somehow means "In God we trust, but man must have the confidence to do the things God had entrusted him to accomplish and achieve, for himself, and for others." And if you’re waiting for the perfect one, well, Good luck! I hope you’re still alive when you found one, since as far as I know, nobody on earth is perfect.

There are a lot of ways to meet people and make new friends. To those single men, you might even befriend to some college girls or hot babes if you just know how. One was the event we attended yesterday, bar hopping, going to church, your office or school and other public places, but the easiest way and well known to match people from different parts of the world, that may even connect two different cultures just in one click is the internet! It’s so powerful that I myself met some of my new friends through blogging. One site I can recommend is http://www.desihotpoint.com/ . Man, there are lots of beautiful Desi girls you will find here. I personally met people from India and Pakistan here in US and I can say that they are nice, intelligent and possess good looks. This site will give you opportunity to get to know them better. You can look for a good and decent date of your dreams. The best part is you will know some of their personal information they provided that may define your compatibility, through age, profession, religion, height, weight, hobbies and the likes. It will also tell if they’re smokers or alcoholics, what a great clue! That means knowing their personality without even doing some of the hard work like in courting or hitting hot chicks. Their pictures will tell how hot they really are. This will surely help shy people to have confidence in meeting new people. Another good thing is that there’s no single penny to spend just to meet someone of your interest. You can see members even if you haven’t sign up for them yet, well if you’d like to be known, you can create your own profile though. My advice to all those single men and women to try these ways of discovering new people, these may lead you to might not the perfect one but the right one for you. You are wasting some moments of your younger years if you will still not work for it. You’re not getting any younger, you know. Life is good and beautiful, and even better if you have someone to share with it. Good luck!

Teach him the 'write' way

It’s been 3 days from now when I started teaching my son how to write. People might not know but my very first job right after I graduated was Class Instructor in 3 colleges of STI in Manila to finance my ECE Board review classes. Man, I thought teaching my son will be easier for me since somehow I have background in this area and I told myself before that if I was able to patiently teach other people, I should do it more for my own son with all my best. And that won't be a kept promise. But of course, my college students were totally different from my toddler who is just 2 and a half years old. I really need to be more considerate since it’s like I’m starting from zero. He has no idea at all that what we’re doing is for his developmental growth, for him everything is playtime and fun. That’s why sometimes I can’t get him focus on what we’re doing. Also, toddlers have little attention span, they are long in will but short in skill. That’s why he’s often frustrated and ‘misbehave’. If you know to yourself that you are a perfectionist type of person, forget it! I believe that in parenting, to be efficient you should also know how to be flexible, not everything should be done according to rules, you know, or else you will end up stressed and more frustrated than your child. I mean, it’s not our kids’ fault if they know nothing, we should not expect from them that they automatically know what to do next. Like what happened in our session, he dropped his marker on the carpet, I’m thinking that he will pick it up since he’s not yet done writing, but instead he rolled it over the carpet by his foot. I almost burst in madness worrying that the ink might get into the carpet. Good thing, I was able to get my sanity back and saw that not a single spot of ink was there. I realized he has no clue that what he did was wrong. I gave him a warning on that very moment.

I’m so proud of him, he can now follow the dotted letters in his book all by himself, though it’s still not perfectly done but I can see the progress. This is how we started; First, I let him watch me on how to do it right, then I tried to put the marker in its best possible position between his fingers. With my assistance, we tried following the dotted markings of the letter in his book. It’s like teaching a kid to ride a bike, at first you need to hold the bike while he’s pedaling then once you noticed that he’s doing it right, little by little, without him being aware of it, you let go of the bike. In our second day, he didn’t ask for my hand assistance anymore. Sounds easy, nah! I lost some of my hair in doing these. It will be easier if you have the right materials, what we’re using in teaching him are really effective. Here they are:

First Flurries in 2008

I can't think of anything to do last Friday til I decided to videotape the flurries outside. wala lang.. Here it is.

Another round of Parenting

I guess my son misses the fun at school during the weekend. He always brings home what he learned from his class. Like what he just acted today.

(Click the pix to enlarge)

Clarence gathered all his stuff animals for Circle Time. Here he tells a story, showing pix in the book to each and everyone.

Second Circle time, now Elmo's in the group, singing the Eenzy Weenzy Spider

Singing "Where is Thumbkin"

My kid's way of parenting

I think what I’m doing to Clarence is starting to instill in his innocent little mind. It shows in his acts and words all the things he’s getting from my parenting. Today, I chuckle so much seeing my son doing some silly things he copied from me. Look at the pix below. He's getting it all over his head alright!


Puppy and Elmo got their time-outs! Elmo for not stop laughing, i guess!

Here's when he told Puppy to face the wall and gave a cute command of "Stay there!"

Clarence asked Puppy if he will be a good boy now.. "Gudboy? gudboy? come here!"

Clarence kissed Puppy, gave him a big hug and posed for Daddy saying "Cheese"

Puppy goes to potty

Manners and Etiquettes

Yesterday, my wife was able to chat with her sister from Italy. I got interested when I heard that they are talking about manners and etiquettes. Her sister shared some of the things she read from the book. Though she had some trouble translating it since it was written in Italian but we got the idea perfectly maybe because some of it were true in us. I may say that these can be used as a reminder to all of us because things that we know okay for us might not be good for others. Sometimes, bad things are becoming normal to us especially when we are used to do it. It’s like becoming a habit for us, a really bad habit. Here are some of the dos and don’ts we discussed over chat:

1. While eating, keep your mouth closed in chewing the food.
2. Don’t make a sticky food sound inside your mouth, unless you’re a pig.
3. Cover your mouth if you can’t avoid yawning in front of people.
4. For men, don’t use white socks in dark suit.
5. When someone invited you to a gathering, don’t mind knowing the people who will attend. It gives a perception that you’re basing your decision from it.
6. Don’t go in front of the food table without your shirt on.
7. Don’t talk loud inside the elevator if there are other people with you.
8. If you’re going to blow your nose, please don’t check the napkin of how your secrete goes. Yaiiks!
9. For men, always remember to put back the toilet seat in place after peeing. Though some men don’t even lift it up because of laziness.
10. In eating spaghetti, don’t make a loud slurp while slopping the pasta. You’re not supposed to eat it like a soup.
11. Don’t belch in public. No one wants to know what you ate.
12. Don’t tell to brides “Congratulations!” but instead “Best Wishes!” The former term is for grooms.
13. Don’t go to a gathering so early that the host might not be in proper dress yet.
14. Always flush the toilet after use. Double check if necessary.
15. Don’t stare at people, unless you like trouble.
16. You know that you’re attending in a church; you don’t need to be reminded to turn off your cell phone.
17. If you are to be introduced to someone, take off your sunglasses.
18. For women, initiate the handshake when introduced, men are waiting for it, they don’t want to be refused.
19. If you’re about to enter the house, don’t ask if you may come in when you’re already halfway inside.
20. Don’t laugh so loud in public that it seems you’re looking for attention from others.

Examine yourself and don’t be in denial. I may not state here everything we discussed but I know you can add some more through comments. Feel free to give us your ideas so other people may know that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable for the majority. I intentionally put some for friends who I don’t have guts to tell directly in their face. I hope they can read this.

Bright Side

Despite of having a fever for the past 2 days, I still feel blessed for having a caring wife and a loving son. I used to fetch Lorie from the train station when she's coming home from her night shift work but she chose not to call me and instead walk home just to give me more time of sleep. I’m so worried because the temp outside the house is dropping and I believe riding in the car is really necessary. I don’t want her to be sick too. She even cooked our breakfast not minding her tiredness from all of her night’s work. I really appreciated it and everything she just did, made me feel a lot better. Likewise, my son relieves some of my pains when he did cooperate most of the day. He put a smile on my face when he started doing our night duties. He knew what to do ahead of me saying it. It’s very seldom you see a child begging for his vitamins, racing you to turn on the clean up song, and even assisting in putting his night diapers on. I was surprised when he also did the sign of the cross though he still can’t perfectly do it as of this time, with his trying voice of saying “Hmmn father.. son… oly.. pirit.. amen” . We prayed together and afterwards read his book. There’s no reason for me not to get well. Surrounded by my 2 precious treasures, clear bright side is all on me.

"The Smile Stone Award"

I would like to dedicate this award to my readers and co-bloggers, hehe.. Thanks to Sunny for considering me for this precious award. It was said that this is an award for bloggers who show kindness and spreading happiness around.



Here are my top 10 reasons for keeping my dimples in my face today:

1. It's my wife's special day. Her birthday! Another blessed year for us.
2. I was able to chat with my sister in the Philippines and learned that they are all okay.
3. We bought RC for our son which I always wanted to give to him. He's so happy playing with it.
4. For having blog friends such as Sunny who tagged me for this award. I felt that I'm valued.
5. We went out to celebrate. We ate good food in a Thai Resto.
6. The gas price went down and I was able to fill our tank with extra discount.
7. Our phone doesn't stop ringing because of our friends who wanted to greet my wife.
8. I saw another good deal of laptop offered for Black Friday. Almost half a price, really bargain and this time one of the brands I wanted. We might get it by next week.
9. Rain showers made our car clean again. No need for paid car wash.
10. My wife appreciated my gift to her. I didn't even spend a single peny for it.

By the power vested in me. I would like to share this award to my friends.
1. dulce
2. carla
3. carol
4. ruthie
5. joanne

Happy Birthday Lorie!!!

I'm so happy the night before my wife's birthday because I was able to finish my gift for her but unfortunately I got colds and now suffering from a little fever. I think I abused myself for not getting enough sleep and rest. I don't know, whenever I think of doing something that really interests me, I don't stop until it's done. Like what I did in making Lorie's gift. I really believe that it was a labor of love. I didn't spend money in creating the gift but it took me a lot of time editing and making it extra special. For the love I have for her is priceless. I can give up my time of sleep and meals just to make her happy. I love it when I see her becoming emotional when she gets my gift, I really feel how she appreciates it. She values my feelings more than any material things I could buy for her. Here's my gift... Just click this "For my loving wife"



happy birthday lorie - ezekiel

Thank You, Daddy!

In everything I do, good or bad, I never thought someone would ever notice or appreciate it. Since each day passed, those busy days, doing the house chores become seemingly a routine work for me. My wife being so exhausted at her work, sometimes consumes most of her time sleeping. She’s working so hard to earn for our planned vacation in California. I believe she deserves a good treat whenever she’s having her rest day, that’s why I don’t like to oblige her in helping me around the house. Sometimes, you cannot avoid frustration at home, especially when you are so tired doing all the work. There I will find myself struggling with my son, pleading , negotiating and even punishing him for his ‘supposed to be’ child behavior. How can you keep your cool if everything you ask him to do, he opposes. My wife told me that it’s part of being a toddler, saying ‘No’ to him, is like triggering his curiosity and giving him opportunity to make him do it again and again. This provoked my undying theoretical thinking. So, instead of saying No, I tried ‘Yes”. I told my son, “Ok son, do it, come on, do it!” BUT it didn't do the trick. Silly me, I suppose reverse psychology is not yet applicable for him. The major of all the major jobs I do is taking care of my son. I actually know all the characters in Sesame Street, that means I cannot watch what I want if he’s awake. We also share computer, it’s like 90/10. I’m the 10. So you cannot blame me if sometimes I’m acting weird, I’m beginning to like being a kid again. I even asked my wife to buy RC as Clarence’ Christmas gift. My wife just said, “In your dreams!” c”,)

There’s one time, when I got so angry because my son messed up on his food, I gave him a time out. I felt some guilt for I know he didn’t mean to play with his food and he doesn’t deserve that time out. Later that night when I’m preparing him for bed and wiping his body with a warm towel, he then suddenly said to me, “Thank You, Daddy!” …… Whoa!!! That sweet, sweet little voice of him really struck me up. All my exhaustion for all the day’s work has been replaced with gladness. We taught him how to say thank you whenever he receives something. It’s like a required response, actually. But this is different, I don’t know how he knew that he should thank me for the good things I’m doing for him. “You’re welcome!” I responded “You will always be”. This time I know he means it. His innocence mind makes it real for me. That’s the best reward I received for being a parent. Appreciation from my 2 year old son.

Why do men leave their partners?

Why do men leave their partners? The common scripts you widely hear from men is “I need space”, “The problem is on me”, “I want to search myself”, “You don’t deserve me” or “You’re not the one I used to know”. I said scripts because they are untrue to a certain extent. Scripts, for they are just been said to lessen the pain and to give respect even for the last time. One of the true reasons I can think of is weariness or boredom. Men are sometimes selfish, they cannot help themselves to look for what they want inside their shabby relationship. They are looking for a perfect partner, it could be another woman, adventure, or career. This perfect partner will not only accept him as he is fully, but also will finally make him express the parts of himself that are hidden. She'll bring out the best in him. Rather than criticize and make demands, the perfect partner will give unconditionally and fulfill his every need. But you have to understand that this is only men’s fantasy. If only women could fully recognized this, they’d be able to know how to handle and deal with it.
I know a girl who became overweight while her husband is still slim and tidy. She’s finding reasons on how to defend her situation or why she was resulted in being fat, like she gave birth to their children, she doesn’t have time to exercise and etc. But when we are together, she most likely wanted to go out, check some restaurants and shop. Even at breakfast, while her mouth is still full, she’s already asking everyone what they can get for snack. Could you imagine that?!, she’s still eating her breakfast and then she’s planning ahead for having a snack. There are a lot of things to think of, but for her, it’s always food. I was not surprised when she told me that her husband consumes a lot of his time in doing something like reading, surfing the net, or fixing his car. I can’t blame him, it’s better to get into things that interests him rather than focusing to some unlikely sights. c",) This will make men more bored in the relationship, you see, what men and women don’t realize is that their true need is to find adventures in their relationship. This girl that I’m talking about should be challenged on how she can get back the attention of her husband, not only in the physical sense but also in finding ways to somehow fulfill his fantasies.

Some things in this world are FREE

I was very disappointed when I found out that the Compaq laptop which is on sale at Wal-Mart has been sold out. Even if I went early at the store, I still didn’t get a chance to spot just a single piece of it on stock. That was the Christmas In-store Specials of Wal-Mart where they have limited stocks, only ten units available for each particular store branches. I could’ve got it for half of its original price (it was tagged at $298 on sale price). I envied those people who are checking out their new laptops. Well, maybe it’s not meant for me to get one, at least we saved money and Compaq is not really my brand. I think I’ll just wait for some other good deals that Black Friday, Thanksgiving and Christmas may offer.

In facing today’s economic crisis, looking for best deals and bargains has definitely been included in our priority list. If you know how to use your resources, you won’t believe that there are still things you can get for free.

First, we searched for school that offers free classes for Clarence and we found the Judy Center housed in Campfield Early Childhood and Development Center. This will prepare Clarence for preschool. We attend classes 3 times a week and it’s all for free.

Second, we looked for Parks and Museums that has no admission fee and we all got it from this site, http://freefallbaltimore.com/ (Thanks to our good friend, Annette). They give schedules of some educational museums, musical theater, art exhibits and workshops. You will enjoy your family hang-out while learning and having fun, which makes it absolutely PRICELESS!

Third, we had been informed by our good friend, Karen about the wealth in earning grocery coupons. Some sites offered printable coupons that you can use in all stores actually. Like the http://couponmom.com, http://grocerygame.com, http://coupons.com and http://coolsavings.com. You may also buy Sunday paper that gives pages of coupons. You should also be aware of the “Double Coupon” policy of the grocery store. Like in Giant, they double your coupon when it’s worth $0.50. For example, you get a chance to learn that their toothpaste is on sale from $2 to $1. And your fortunate to have a $0.50 coupon of the same product, you’ll just say to the cashier that you want your coupon doubled, they will match the $0.50 coupon you have so it will give you a total of $1 coupon which will make the toothpaste free of charge. Huh! Was that really cool or what? Sometimes you just need for the product to be on sale to maximize the benefit of your coupons.

Fourth, we signed up to www.blackfriday.info so that we will get email alerts of the bargains and on sale items that different stores offer. You will be informed ahead of time. Some stores give pre-blackfriday specials like the one I waited for Wal-Mart. They will tell you not only the sale for blackfriday but also for thanksgiving, Christmas and other extra offers that stores have.

At home, we replaced all lights with energy-saving fluorescents, we also loosen some of the bulbs/fluorescents that came in set like in chandeliers and bathroom vanity lights (from 6 to 2 fluorescents) . We made sure that lights were off in rooms that are not in used. It will save cost also if you will totally unplugged appliances that are not in constant use. We used jackets/sweaters and socks inside the house when the cool temperature is still tolerable, this is to keep the heater from use. Instead of the centralized heater, we’re using a portable one in our bedroom since that’s the only place we need warm in time of sleep.

I think finding ways like cost-cutting is an effective approach in fighting the crisis were facing today. I have proven that the phrase “Nothing in this world is FREE” totally wrong.

90/10 Principle of Stephen Covey - Anger Management

Have you heard of the 90/10 principle? I got this from an email and this taught me a great lesson. Applying this in our daily lives will save us from distress, heartache and depression. You are to choose your own consequences. Making your day bad or good is really up to you. Please read this article and be involved in it.

THE 90/10 PRINCIPLE

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle: It will change your life. The 90/10 principle is incredible! Very few know and apply this principle. The Result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. Theirs is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger ruins friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life!

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool you; You can control how you react!

Let’s use an example. You’re eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed zone.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the Policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of a day you are having. Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you Reacted. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? Who Cares if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your “worrying” time and energy into finding another job.

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.

Complaints or Appreciation

Are you the kind of person who always sees things in its worst form? Who are proud to tell to everyone how hard you’ve gone through just to get out in a situation? Some people complain about everything. Patterns like parent to child, employee to boss, student to instructor and vice versa are the common ones. They complain because there’s no contentment in their hearts. You can’t expect everything to happen in your own will and preference. This is why I hear many parents complain about how mischievous and terrible their children were. We cannot blame our children to be playful or naughty (at times) for it’s part of growing up. That’s what they supposed to behave. Instead of complaining, why don’t we be grateful that our kids are healthy that’s why they are lively and full of fun. If you are to choose, a sick child or a playful one? Why don’t you try to say “I’m so blessed for this stress because I know this is just a small cause of having a healthy kid”. And if someone asks you on how your day went, would you say that you had the worst boss and job in the whole world? Remember that there are people who are homeless, jobless, disabled and ill. Learn to be appreciative on what you have. Think of the good things behind every bad thing that happens in our lives. Life is beautiful if you'd only know how to look at it right.

Why party?

Today, we went to Aidan's birthday party. We really had a great time. Clarence met some new friends and restlessly played with them. Food were all delicious, I had a lot actually. I went back to the table twice :) . Our efforts in buying Aidan’s gift paid off when we saw the excitement in his face. He even asked his mom to open it up after unwrapping it which he did not do with the other gifts. We really appreciate it because we perceived no trace of pretend in his actions. That’s what I like in kids, they’re telling their true feelings and not being hypocrite. I was also invited for a beer by the host’s brother-in-law which I refused at first for the reason that I will still need to drive home. In the Philippines, to maintain a harmonious relationship, we practice camaraderie, so I gave-in with his request plus the fact that I also like to drink some. I just had 2 bottles of beer. I know my limitation whenever I go out. We waited for almost 4 hours before leaving the party, I took coffee and soda just to wash away the beer (that’s only in my theoretical thinking :)). They even prepared take-home food for us which we openhandedly accepted, of course. The day was filled with friends. We’re really grateful for having people around us who value our presence in such special occasion. They are the likes of people who are worth praying for.

Educational websites

(click the pix to enlarge)

This is related to my previous blog, "Computers on kids". I’m surfing the net for some educational stuffs that I can use to entertain Clarence. This is an idea I’ve thought that will make me free from him and do some chores. Then I accidentally discovered this really cool website of Sesame Street, http://www.sesamestreet.org/games. I found out that all the games from the CD we borrowed from our friends can be played in this site. It actually offers more educational games than I expected. If you will just browse the whole site, there is an option for more games. They also have videos from Sesame Street episodes which are really great to watch, suits for all ages, I may say. Popular singers can be seen jamming along with the Sesame Street monsters. Games can be played by big and little kids since there are selections for keyboard and mouse activities. It’s really good, your kids will learn how to sort and pile up things of the same shapes / colors and to clearly observe patterns. They can also create their own monster character by dragging parts of the monster such as eyes, nose and mouth to the preferred body and face. Just right under the game you're playing, there are other choices of games of the same category (i.e. numbers, seasons). At the right side of the game window you’ll see some parenting tips and advice that changes from time to time. And one of the best features for me is the PlaySafe button where your child cannot navigate the web browser away from your selected Sesame Street content when you are away from him. Try it and I know you’ll love it!

You may want to try the following websites as well:
http://www.sproutonline.com/SPROUT/home/default.aspx
http://funschool.kaboose.com/
http://www.starfall.com/