Saturday, May 9, 2009

National Nurses Week

To all the nurses esp. my wife,

National Nurses Week (May 6th - 12th) comes just once a year, but it's the job you perform every day that makes this time so important. You are the backbone of the nation's healthcare industry. Your skills, compassion and tireless commitment make an immeasurable impact on our communities – one patient at a time. Happy Nurses week!!!

You know You're a Nurse if...

•You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
•You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.
•You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock
•Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.
•You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you than he can.
•You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.
•You're uncomfortable in clothes that don't have elastic or drawstring waistbands, because you spend most of your waking hours in scrubs.
•You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off, in case it's someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
•You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.
•You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.
•Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.
•You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
•Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
•Drinking iced tea from a clean urinal is completely normal.
•Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
•When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answers yourself. (What day is it again?)
•Your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
•Everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
•You want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors.
•You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
•You can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce.
•You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines. (Wow! I can get an 11g in that puppy!)
•your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com )
•you have the bladder capacity of five people
•you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance
•you believe that “ask-a-nurse” is an evil plot thought up by satan
•you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
•you have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.
•your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone’s
•your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the back yard.
•the hems of your scrub pants are held in with 3-0 chromic or steristrips.
•your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat
•you’ve ever had a patient with a nose-ring tell you “I’m afraid of shots.”
•your family members must have a fever of at least 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding in order to receive your sympathy.

====================================== X'S==========================================
I haven't checked Twitter yet, I don't know what to use anymore, I do have Friendster, MySpace and Multiply but the only one I can update is Friendster, Oh well, everybody's in the net!!! You can get anything online even your future partner could be available in just one click. LOL!