It's what you think that made things happen for you. if you were cautioned by people to wait till your child reaches the age of 2 because that’s when the child becomes a headache to parents, or so as they had called it Terrible Two’s, then the choice is really yours. It’s either you expect things to happen as what these people had set in your mind or you believe in to your own capacity as a parent. It’s better to expect good things than bad about our child. You are the only one who knows your child; other people can’t tell what your child really is capable of. I can say that those are the kinds of people who pretend they know everything. I’d rather set my mind that 2 year olds belong to Terrific Two’s than to what they harshly called it as Terrible. It is what you believe that make things possible. This is my son when he 'was' two years old...
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People who liked this may also like: @ Righteous church goers and
@ Thank You, Daddy!
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Finding Your Mr./Ms. Right
5 Golden Rules for finding your life partner
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
A relationships coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms.Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.
Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line-and marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing."
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you --who can't do nearly as much for them!
Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
A relationships coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms.Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here.
Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.
Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line-and marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the
person you plan to marry.
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing."
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you --who can't do nearly as much for them!
Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I'm a Houseband
Houseband. There's a big misconception on this term. Always used as a joke since it is depicted from the word Husband. Some used it to mock men who don’t work in the corporate world. Those who are just staying at home. Husbands who are taking care of the household chores and children. Well, that’s how the narrow-minded people think. Houseband has a deeper meaning. After hearing Pastor Joel Osteen said about this term, I can proudly say that I’m definitely a Houseband. Please have time to watch this video about commitment in marriage. I’m 100% sure you will be enlighten to the importance of your role in your spouse and child.
Pastor Joel Osteen on marriage, commitment, relationships, taking care of your family, raising your children, and other wise words.
Whether or not you're Christian, Joel Osteen's on-point with this.
10 minutes for the rest of your life.
Pastor Joel Osteen on marriage, commitment, relationships, taking care of your family, raising your children, and other wise words.
Whether or not you're Christian, Joel Osteen's on-point with this.
10 minutes for the rest of your life.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Study
I was asked of what from the 5 tools in my catholic Christian life, I haven't fully utilized. Here are the 5 tools; Prayer, Study, Service, Fellowship and Sacraments. I've told them that all has not been fully utilized; maybe I was able to give a portion in each but not in every aspect. I chose “Study” as what I believed I’m lacking out most. Study compromises of reading the Bible daily, spiritual reading through other means and knowing God through preaching and teachings. I told them my 3 reasons. First, I’m lazy, I’m a fan of the words convenience and easy. I’m so lazy that sometimes when I’m searching something from the internet, I used Google Video Search instead of the Google Web Search because I find it easier listening and watching video than reading. I’m so impatient in reading. Second is lack of interest. My mistake is to put the Bible near where our computer is, so when I’m looking at it from afar, the interest in surfing the net becomes more inviting than reading the Bible. It’s also funny that whenever my wife asks me to read even just 1 verse in each day instead of consuming most of my time in the computer, there’s a tendency in me to oppose it more. I told Lorie to wait for the time that I will open it because I like doing it. And third is I’m afraid. The Bible has profound words that I might misunderstood or misinterpreted. I’m afraid that I don’t have the wisdom to know it the right way.
The facilitator said that it’s how the devil works on us. He’s getting all the chances for us to break our faith. And our challenge is to know how to fight it. Actually, as an Algebra instructor before, I know that in every problem, there’s a solution, and finding the solution is knowing the root cause first and the available sources you can use. I know now the causes, and I strongly believe I can solve it easily. I already have the eagerness to learn, the only things I need are the motivation and interest. Since I like the internet more, I used it to read some verses from the Bible. If you’ll notice at the left side of my site, there’s a gadget of “Daily Bible Verse”. I can also go to Bible.com. One of my favorites is joelosteen.com. Before I do anything in my computer, I make sure that I read even just 1 verse and if I don’t understand, my wife is there for me and it will be a great discussion starter. The Holy Spirit will be the one who will work for us to understand it more. I don’t want to give the devil any opportunities to win his game. I’d rather choose God works than evil’s. I hope and pray that we’ll be able to fight all struggles that might come our way in taking the path we chose to live.
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The facilitator said that it’s how the devil works on us. He’s getting all the chances for us to break our faith. And our challenge is to know how to fight it. Actually, as an Algebra instructor before, I know that in every problem, there’s a solution, and finding the solution is knowing the root cause first and the available sources you can use. I know now the causes, and I strongly believe I can solve it easily. I already have the eagerness to learn, the only things I need are the motivation and interest. Since I like the internet more, I used it to read some verses from the Bible. If you’ll notice at the left side of my site, there’s a gadget of “Daily Bible Verse”. I can also go to Bible.com. One of my favorites is joelosteen.com. Before I do anything in my computer, I make sure that I read even just 1 verse and if I don’t understand, my wife is there for me and it will be a great discussion starter. The Holy Spirit will be the one who will work for us to understand it more. I don’t want to give the devil any opportunities to win his game. I’d rather choose God works than evil’s. I hope and pray that we’ll be able to fight all struggles that might come our way in taking the path we chose to live.
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