Saturday, October 25, 2008

You need to set a structure

Most parents are struggling with a child who is disrespectful, intolerable or even abusive in some ways. This creates frustration and exhaustion especially when arguing becomes more constantly. These parents may feel also that they are "walking on eggshells" around their child to avoid conflicts that will "set their child off?" They may have tried screaming, punishing, pleading, and negotiating but their child still walks all over them.

You cannot predict child’s behavior but it’s normal for them to act differently. Bad behavior can be observed from time to time and the only thing that you can do is to have some interventions to correct it. You should have a structure that will make your child follow. This structure should make him feel that he has responsibilities that need to be done. You may look at our structure but I'm not saying that we have the right one. First, we set schedules, like breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner. Also he has to get his nap during around noon time. Playtime, bath time and TV or PC time will be set for other parts of the day. At around 8pm after having his dinner, Clarence knew that the next thing to do is to take his vitamins. And then I will play the “clean up” song in our PC implying that we need to put his toys away (keeping it organized and putting in the right place-like toy shelves, bins, etc.). After doing the clean-up routine, we will ask Clarence of the next thing that we should do, he might not answer us but he will go directly to the bathroom for it’s his wash time (this includes brushing his teeth, warm cloth, lotion and changing of clothes). When we gets into bed, he will automatically asks for a book, there we will give him 2 choices of books and the one he picks will be read in bed. Once he said, “The End”, we will put the book away and then hold his right hand to do sign of the cross as a start of our night prayer. After that, lamps will be turned off and night light will be on. You should be strict in your structure for him to be familiarized with it and not to differ in every instruction you will give. Just be patient for the first days and you’ll find your reward when things go in your way. We didn’t even get it the first and second tries, but as days go by, we noticed that Clarence easily picks up the things he should do as we strictly followed our structure.

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